


hold a lover close

by stylinshaw



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Infidelity, M/M, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-25
Updated: 2014-10-25
Packaged: 2018-02-22 14:08:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2510489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stylinshaw/pseuds/stylinshaw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Dan,” Phil says gently. “You alright?”</p>
<p>Dan blinks. His fingers skim Phil’s forearm. He blinks again.</p>
<p>“Fuck yeah,” he says, and there’s a spark of something in his eyes that makes Phil loosen up- and, well, they carry on.</p>
<p>(warning: cheating.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	hold a lover close

**Author's Note:**

> Apologies for this, it's just that when I write something more than 1k I have to upload it. 
> 
> This story plot is a weird cross-breed of 'Lying...' and 'Miss Jackson (ft. Lolo)' both by Panic! At The Disco. God Bless that band.
> 
> Title - 'Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off' - P!ATD
> 
> Disclaimer - D&P are not mine. >:(
> 
> If you like this, please tell me if I should consider a part two! Thank you <3
> 
> Hope you enjoy :)

Dan’s fingers are shaking. Phil notices this and frowns- Dan couldn’t be nervous, because, well- they’ve done this before. A _lot_.

“Dan,” Phil says gently. “You alright?”

Dan blinks. His fingers skim Phil’s forearm. He blinks again.

“Fuck yeah,” he says, and there’s a spark of _something_ in his eyes that makes Phil loosen up- and, well, they carry on.

*

The next morning, Phil’s making himself a bowl of cereal when he hears rustling. He turns around to see Dan gathering up his coat into his arms, clutching his phone and wallet in one hand.

“Where’re you going?” Phil calls out, trying not to seem too intrusive. Dan looks up and Phil is taken aback to be met with the sight of red-rimmed eyes and a sad smile.

“Bear, are you feeling poorly?” Phil asks, concerned. He moves towards Dan but the latter waves him off.

“I’m fine, Phil. I just need to get some more,” Dan looks around hastily. “Malteasers. My secret stock’s run out, and I’ve been feeling, uh, nostalgic lately, and I can’t stop eating them, oh my _God-_ “ Dan’s looking a little frantic now, and Phil chuckles softly. He walks over to his boyfriend, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“It’s okay, Dan, go buy your chocolate,” Phil smiles. “Want me to come with?”

Dan shakes his head empathetically. “It’s fine, babe, I’m just craving them right now.”  


“You’re like a pregnant woman, God,” Phil laughs, stepping away and back into the kitchen to finish making his breakfast. Dan laughs and walks out quickly.

Phil doesn’t think much of any of it.

*

It’s literally been _three hours_. Dan isn’t home yet. Phil’s been texting and calling, but there hasn’t been any reply.

Could he _really_ have spent three hours finding his damn malteasers? Phil sinks to the ground, stomach twisting with worry. He thinks of some kind of accident, a car crash, a lot of _blood-_

The door clicks open. Dan steps in, holding a large bag and looking thoroughly overwhelmed.

“Dan!” Phil all but yells, jumping up towards his lover. “Where’ve you been, I was _so_ worried-“ as Phil gets closer, he can smell something a bit different-

“Are you wearing a different cologne or something?”

Dan stills. “Uh, no, I got a bit sidetracked and went to this shop selling all these perfumes and I tried on loads of testers, and my phone died so I couldn’t like, call, I’m sorry-“ Dan’s looking guilty now and while Phil finds something about the whole of today a bit _off_ , he lets it slide.

“It’s okay, you just scared me,” he says. He leans in and kisses Dan’s cheek.

He notices when Dan flinches away.

*

It gets a little weird after that. Dan starts leaving the house early, comes home late. Phil usually stays at home and wallows in loneliness, but on occasion, he visits PJ.

This is one of those days. PJ’s room is a creative tornado, and both of them are sitting in the middle of it. Phil doesn’t know where to start, so he just tells PJ everything.

“I-“ PJ looks extremely uneasy once Phil’s done. “Have you considered the fact that he might be, uh, doing something you…wouldn’t like?”

“What do you mean?” Phil asks curiously. While Dan’s been acting strange, he wouldn’t do anything _that_ bad.

“I-I’m sorry, Phil, but from what you’ve told me, I think he might be cheating on you,” PJ looks incredibly apologetic and Phil wants to punch him in the face.

He stands up. His mind is a mess of emotion and question and all he tells PJ is that he’s going to leave, thank you.

He thinks about why he’s so angry, and he thinks it’s because he knows it’s true.

*  


Dan’s home late. Phil scoffs to himself as he hears the quiet footsteps towards their door, feels Dan sliding into bed next to him, breathing normally and smelling of _someone else_.

Phil thinks he’s going to be sick. He sits up straight, breathing shallowly through his nose. From next to him, Dan gets up, looking worried.

“Phil, love?” There’s actual _sincerity_ in Dan’s voice. Phil starts to cry. “What’s wrong? Do you need me to call an-“

“Shut the fuck up,” Phil snaps through his tears. Dan closes his mouth, looking confused.

“What’s your problem?” Dan asks defensively. Phil gestures wildly.

“You’ve been cheating on me.”

The statement hangs heavily in the air- Phil thinks, _this is it,_ this is the moment which will either make him or break him. It could all just be a wildly dramatic misunderstanding. They could go back to living their lives.

Dan inhales. He exhales.

“How did you know?” he asks softly, and Phil’s world comes crashing down.

*

The next week is spent in tense silence. Dan doesn’t go out anymore. The house is silent, apart from the sounds of Phil watching TV at three in the morning, out of his mind with boredom and misery, while crying and eating large chunks of ice cream at one go.

They still haven’t broken up. They as good as are, but it hasn’t been made official. To everyone else, they’re still Dan and Phil, that happy domestic couple who don’t have _any_ problems ever.

Sometimes Phil hears Dan crying in the longue, and sometimes he hears Dan on the phone with Chris, talking in hushed tones about how much he loved Phil.

It breaks Phil’s heart. He wants nothing more than to go back to Dan, forgive him in a second, and hold him in his arms. He thinks of everything they’ve been through. Five years.

All gone in a flash, with some nameless person. Phil doesn’t even know who it is. Hell, maybe it isn’t the same person every night. Phil doesn’t care. He doesn’t.

Maybe if he says it enough, it’ll become true.

*  


It’s been three weeks since it happened. Phil hasn’t had sex in two months.

The worst part is that Phil still loves Dan, possibly more than anything. He still spends sleepless nights scrolling through all their old pictures, remembering them being _happy._

It hurts.

PJ tells him to stay calm. He tells him to try to get over it. That’s the best way.

But Phil _can’t_. Dan never leaves his room anymore, only coming out to get food and water. The essentials. Every time he makes eye contact with Phil, he hastily sprints away.

It all gets a bit much one day, when Phil’s feeling particularly turned on and all he can do is storm over to Dan’s room, throwing the door open to find his ex-lover splayed out on the bed, listening to Muse. There are dark circles under his eyes, and a fuckload of empty food wrappings surrounding the bed.

“Phil!” Dan shoots up into a sitting position. “What are you-“

“Listen, Dan, you fucked up,” Dan winces. “But I’m still in love with you and I have no idea what to do about it because I want to hate you, so, so much, but I still love you so fucking much you have no idea and I. Fuck.” Phil doesn’t think he’s ever sworn this much in a single sentence before.

Dan’s eyes are wide. “I’m-“ he begins, looking at his duvet. “I’m so fucking sorry for what I did to you. I know that doesn’t count, but I still love you, always have loved you, even when I,” he clears his throat. “Yeah. I-I just love you.”

Phil hasn’t forgiven Dan but maybe he can-maybe for tonight.

He oversteps the dumpster around the bed and pushes Dan down.

He’ll be alright. For tonight.

**Author's Note:**

> im sorry again
> 
> come to my [blog](http://padaledcki.tumblr.com) and talk to me! ʕ•͡-•ʔ


End file.
